In Chin Deep

Lets take a trip in the way back machine to the mid 90s…a time where the average family started to access the web from their mac or pc sitting in the den. Compared to today’s computers, that computer, encased in an ugly grey or beige color box, was practically a toaster oven. You probably used it to type term papers (in 5-paragraph format according to your MLA book) or for a scorching game of solitaire…OOH, FEEL THE EXCITEMENT! Somewhere down the line, most people started to access the World Wide Web on their computers (cause “slow shitty guy living in his parents basement land” was too long for a name) through a dial-up ISP like AOL, Earthlink, Compuserve or one of the many other companies that came and went (like a Chechnyan prostitute with schizophrenia).

Since the net was so young, you didn’t have many choices. You could check your email (pure text, no html), look at dirty pictures (grainy images of hairy-girl-gross-guy porn that took forever to load), sign someone’s guest book (probably for some shitty 90210 fan club site),  listen to a MIDI file of your favorite band (sounded like an electronic hallmark card), or have cybersex in a chatroom (most likely a 40 year old guy pretending to be Cara, a hot teenage girl from Cali). Getting and staying on the web was a long and arduous process with little to no return. The funny thing…you look back now and think, “LAME!” However, back then you probably thought it was the coolest thing since your parents got you that poster of Optimus Prime for over your bed.

In hind site, the net was pathetic back in the day, but now like an awkward teen with low self-esteem, it has grown up to become a sexier, more experienced version of itself that will do anything…and I mean anything. Now, just like that once awkward teen, it is a college student that is totally into doing kinky and dangerous things while being watched by numerous people (preferably on video). The internet has become a sex starved college student that went away on mommy and daddy’s dime to break out and experiment (i.e. 3 ways, dual penetration, snorting cocaine off your dick) and as a result, now has new things like MP3s, HD pics, streaming video, social networks, and tons of viruses.

Excuse me while I go twitter my facebook to this awesome picture of Megan Fox in a painted on Super-Girl costume. Yum!

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