Reality Sucks
As a kid, I’m sure we all remember hearing about stories that if you get to the end of a rainbow, a little Irishman will be there with a pot of gold. If you were able to pull your greedy eyes away from the pot of gold for one minute, the drunken bastard would offer you three wishes if you let him keep his gold. Usually we were told these stories by our parents. This story went along with the tooth fairy, santa, the easter bunny, and any other holiday or event we could figure out how to get something for free.
As I grew up, I learned first the tooth fairy wasn’t real, then the easter bunny. Next, I found out santa was not only a fake, but often times a really creepy drunk guy trying to get his life straight with a fake beard. Now all this time I still held out hope that the drunken Irishman with gold was real. I mean come on, we all know short Irishmen, some really short that might be able to pass for a leprechaun. Sadly, I finally have proof that the last great story is just a myth. The cool little Irish guy with gold is a lie. This picture finally proves that point. Even looking for some splattered remnants left on the road in a pool of roadkill, nothing. No blood, be it red or green. Not even a broken pint of Guinness which would have been as big a tragedy as the dead leprechaun.
So what has this horrible discovery taught me? That our parents set us up to have our dreams crushed as we became adults. While it can be a good lesson, I shed a tear for the mythical drunk Irish guy with his gold. Never again will St. Patrick’s day be the same for me. In my drunken stupors never again shall I imagine I see him running away with his lucky charms. To you mythical Irish guy, I raise my pint to your demise.
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